The Jewel in your wound

I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; 

wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; 

there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting.

 Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: 

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing. -T.S. Eliot, from East Coker.

In my meditation practice today, I was reminded of one of my favorite passages from the legendary Joseph Campbell, where he writes, 

The very cave you are afraid to enter

turns out to be the source of

what you are looking for.

The damned thing in the cave

that was so dreaded

has become the center.

You find the jewel,

and it draws you off.

In loving the spiritual,

you cannot despise the earthly.

  I love that so much, because it is so important to remember that while yes, we are a spiritual being having a human experience and we are the physical embodiment of God on Earth, we are not here to transcend our Humanity, we are here to include it. And to love it. Dearly. 

  And that is so much of what I am continually practicing myself and what I do in my work as a Women's Embodiment Coach, to assist others in remembering who they truly are, and realizing that as our true self, as our Divine infinite awareness, as our Godself, nothing is a threat to who we are. 

 It is only when we suppress or repress our emotions, when we judge our human experience which includes our wounds, triggers, and patterns; when we try to fix or run from them, by pushing against and attempting to change them, that is when we are so identified with the human self, that we buy into its stories and limitations. 

 Where we see these things as a threat, that must be overcome or obliterated. 

Only then can these so-called lower emotions manifest negative experiences in our lives.

The wound comes into your awareness to show you who you are not, so you can step into who you always were. 

There's no one to become, it's an Unbecoming. 

 The very Act of going into the caves, of moving deeper into your wound or pattern, requires you to see through the illusion of all you never were, which allows you to show up as who you have always been, and brings forth a great power. 

 That power alchemizes all the misunderstandings that the wound or Trigger or pattern was here to show you.

 These wounds that happened to you through no fault of your own, and created a misidentification of self. 

And that is the very gift they bring, that's what they're here to show you; that you're believing something about yourself that isn't true. 

The problem only arises when we fully buy into the identity of these wounds, and turn our journey into a never-ending rabbit hole of so-called healing and self-improvement.

 If you're anything like myself, after finding your life intolerable because of a Dark Night of the Soul experience or a spiritual awakening or perhaps a major trauma or illness, you stumble into some manifestation or spiritual teachings, which can often be very entangling or sometimes downright harmful to a certain type of people.

 People who already have a ton of trauma or very dysregulated nervous systems and tend to internalize things, then teachings like the Law of Attraction can make an already fired up internal system feel even more unsafe. 

 Giving you, your internal world and your nervous system the message that now these wounds and patterns are an even bigger problem, because you're being told simultaneously that you are Divine and already worthy and perfect, but, oh by the way, if you don't shift this or heal that, it's a block to your wealth or receiving love.

 Which creates a cognitive dissonance and constant hyper-vigilance in your mind and body.

 Any teaching that makes your internal world feel hyper-aware and unsafe is just plain wrong and I'm not here for it.

Every bit of you makes sense. 

And every bit of you gets to come along. 

 When you start to wake up to the truth of who you are and anchor into that identity, then you can hold infinite space for these characters and parts of you that feel wounded or scared or traumatized; for your inner child and the uncomfortable sensations in your body. 

  And then you start to see that none of those things are a threat to your manifestation. 

  It no longer becomes that you have to heal all of this or that before you can move forward, feel good, or have the life that you want. 

This is why it's so important to accept the idea that your healing / spiritual expansion journey gets to be separate from your conscious creation / manifesting journey.

  Our human self will be healing and expanding until the day we die; that is why our Soul came here, to have this human experience.

 But also to wake up and remember our True Nature and power, and allow desires to express through our human self, unconditionally.

 You start to see that it's irrelevant whether those places fully heal or not; they can be there or not be there, as you gain the ability to remind yourself who you are, to self-regulate your nervous system, to soothe yourself and trust yourself, that you are meant to feel good and receive abundantly, in this now moment. 

This kind of unconditional presence and allowing, is EXACTLY the environment that allows those places to effortlessly heal. 

It's a myth that you will ever “heal” all the way, or that you have to let go of the old story or your wounds; you don't have to let go of anything, Lovelie.

 When you remember who you are and make it safe to be in your body and have that kind of unconditional love and presence, these things let go of YOU. 

This is one of the many paradoxes on the spiritual journey; as you see through the illusion of all you are not, you are transformed into who you already are.

Which makes any so-called wound or lower part of yourself both irrelevant, and deeply allowed.

This is the magic waiting for you on the Journey into the Cave, should you have the courage to enter.

 Your humanity is not a threat to your divinity. 

 I have decided recently, to boldly choose my desires over my drama. 

 And our desires are an invitation for more of who we really are to show up in our world. 

 How would you feel right now, if you had everything that you desired, in this moment? 

 If you loved absolutely everything about your life?

 What would that felt sense be in your body, what thoughts, feelings, and emotions would you have? 

 What would you need to believe about yourself, for that experience to be true?

 I believe that the reason we even have our desires, is because our Higher self is inviting us to accept the truth of who we already are and have always been, to embody that truth, the felt sense, the whole state of being, and to move through the world and function as that version of ourselves, because THAT'S who we're meant to be.

 To bring more of who we TRULY are, into our world, by following the call, the yearning for our desires, because they are here to pull us into our true expansion.

And the out picturing of those desires being manifested in your 3D is just a bonus.

The ego self doesn't like that perspective, because the fear is, "well if I just go through my life feeling abundant or loved or confident or successful or whatever it is, what if I just keep feeling good but nothing in my outer world changes and I don't get my desires?"

 But you see, our inner world is a projector. Our whole body is a technology of manifestation. 

We are a receiver and a transmitter but we're also a projector. 

Our conscious mind is the Observer, and the channel through which the power comes, where we have the conscious choice to focus that power through our human self, or through the qualities of our true infinite nature. 

Our subconscious mind is the mechanism through which that power comes and out pictures the choice that we have focused on dominantly.

God is me. 

God as me.

Awareness, Consciousness as me, moving through me, inviting me to focus on those desires through my conscious awareness, because that true infinite nature wants to experience those things through me. 

 But also because that God THRU me, knows that the call of those desires is the very thing that will pull me into the recognition of who I'm meant to be, to receive who I truly am already am.

 Our only job is 3 things-

First, to remember the truth of who we are, our true infinite nature. 

Second, to see our desires as a calling to accept the truth of who we are, to release the illusion of who we are not, and start to embody the state of being and the felt sense of those desires already fulfilled and move through the world that way. 

And then the only other thing to do, which is not always easy and where most people get tripped up, is to have the courage to soften and stay open in the contraction of the triggers, wounds, and patterns that will naturally arise as we start to say yes to who we really are, to our desires.         

 To stop reacting to them, to stop buying into them, and stop seeing them as a problem to heal or change or overcome.

 And start seeing those wounds and patterns as a jewel in the cave that we're willing to enter, because the version of ourselves that we have to become in order to regulate our nervous system in the face of those things, to make ourselves feel safe, loved, and accepted, IS the very thing that aligns us with our truth and therefore with our desires. 

 They are not blocks, they're not limitations, they are not in the way.

They ARE the way.

And when you start seeing your journey this way, you can get excited about both your desires AND your wounds or triggers, because all of it is bringing you into who you really are.

 So let yourself feel your sadness or anger or longing.

 Let yourself meet all the depths of who you are, your depression, your confusion, the shame you feel from the illusion of your inadequacy. 

Your Godself is not worried about these things. 

None of that is a threat to your manifestations.

 And so you do not have to run from it or fix it or even heal it.

Healing is not your job, nor is it something you even actually do.

Healing is a byproduct of you remembering who you really are, learning to regulate your nervous system and making it safe to be yourself no matter what you’re thinking, feeling, or experiencing, and realizing you're already home.

Then healing happens for you and through you.

 You need only remember the truth, and be willing to receive ALL of who you truly are, and in the light of that love, these feelings and experiences can be here, or they can leave. 

It doesn't matter, you can never be separate from the love and the power that you are, and you are worthy of everything you desire exactly as you are, right now, with nothing else that you need to tweak or change. 

 Here's my personal addendum to those beautiful words from Mr. Elliott:

Make thoughts irrelevant, because from your ego, you are not yet ready for thought. 

Make hope unnecessary, because from your true self, there is no need for hope, you are already everything.

Make darkness your friend, for in the stillness of your light, all is illuminated. 

Make love the only thing, because you cannot be apart from that which you are.

Choose Knowing over faith, and let faith, court YOU.

And make waiting obsolete, because you are already Home.

Your desires are Divine guidance. 

It is done.

And you are free.