What Lights You Up Will Save You
Teacups. Winter Light. Pastel colors. Sunsets. Fine chocolate. Beautiful homes. Beautiful places. Gardens. Cats. Cats in gardens. Clouds. Soft blankets. Velvet against my skin. Vaughn Williams. Tango music. Tulips. Roses. My Chinchilla Pikachu. Horses. Dancing. Kisses. Sex. Anything Blue.
What do these things have in common?
They all light me up.
I don’t mean I mildly enjoy them, I mean they Light. Me. Up.
They are not shallow, frivolous, or luxuries to be indulged in occasionally.
They are Angel Winks, breadcrumbs, nudges from God, to say, “This way, This way, This way.”
I used to think that I couldn’t trust what felt good to me, if it felt that good, it had to be worldly or dangerous and would surely lead me to hell in a hand cart. Or, that I simply wasn’t meant to feel good the majority of the time, after all, so many people suffer and struggle all of the time, who was I to have a life that feels good?
The wonderful Marianne Williamson famously said it so beautifully in A Return to Love- “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”.
I eventually began to trust myself, what feels good, to embrace what Mary Oliver perfectly expresses in her poem Wild Geese- “You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
And so my personal motto became,
What lights you up will save you.
As a reminder for me to always move towards what opens my heart, feels good to my body; all that makes me feel juicy and delicious and alive.
It’s taken me most of my life to learn that anything that lights me up is not just a temporary distraction to enjoy before getting back to the “real-world”, there is a reason why I feel the way I do when I experience these things.
It isn’t in fact that these things “make” me feel anything, rather, they are just all a reflection of my True Self. The Divinity within me. My Soul. My personal one-of-a-kind LifeSpark.
The sensation all that lights me up has in common, is a feeling of, “Oooo…”, or, “Yes Yes Yes!” An ignition, an awakening, a remembering. Like looking into a magical mirror from the Universe, far more powerful than any fairy tale portal, that is there to remind me of Who I Am.
When I look into the face of a Lover, it’s my Soul remembering, “Oh, it’s You!”
When I touch the velvety petal of a rose, “Oh, it’s You!”
When I see gossamer clouds drifting across the pastel sky at sunset, “Oh, it’s You!”
When I experience my sensuality as I sway to Tango music, glide my paintbrush across a canvas, or see the soul of an animal looking back at me, it’s, “Oh, it’s You!”
The reason this practice, this dedication to what lights me up as a lifestyle is so important and so powerful, is that following these sensations, is like following a map to the life my soul knows I really want. Beyond what my ego might think I want, or be willing to settle for.
And it’s a receiving of the energy of the Godself, that real, true Lifeforce, that I was put on this earth to receive, embody, and express.
A life dedicated to what lights you up is not always smooth sailing. Sometimes the journey comes all-inclusive with a Titanic-sized boatload of triggers and seemingly never-ending obstacles.
Paradoxically, this is actually the biggest blessing in disguise. Because these triggers, however painful, sticky, uncomfortable or messy they may be, are designed to burn away all that stands between you and how you really want to feel.
If I didn’t feel unrelentingly pulled to my deepest heart’s desire of a toe-tingling, make-the-angels-hide-their-faces Soulmate love relationship, I would never have had the courage or tenacity to face the so-called “problems” of triggers and obstacles of unhealed wounds, traumas, and reoccurring patterns that made that elusive.
If I wasn’t so desiring of a life filled with beauty, whimsy, and creative artistic expression, I would never had been compelled to overcome a lifetime of self-repression, painful shyness, doubts, fears, and insecurities, and summon the bravery to become a writer and artist, which led to publishing this blog and my YouTube channel.
So dear friends, don’t underestimate the importance of what lights you up, from the tiniest pleasure, to the deepest longing- pay attention, follow the sensations; protect them, cherish them, feed them.
They will lead you to what you truly deserve, a Well-Lived Life.
