Why viewing your desires the way Awareness does, will change your life
Recently something quietly profound has been settling into my lived experience.
Not as a peak moment. Not as a breakthrough high. Not as a new concept I’m trying to remember. But as a recognition that feels strangely ordinary.
For years, like many people on a conscious path, I encountered variations of the same instruction:
Drop the ego.
Release the identity.
Heal the self.
Shift the character.
And while each of these can hold value within certain contexts, I have seen something so simple that it dissolves the entire framework.
There is no character to drop.
When I look directly at my present moment experience - not through theory, not through memory, not through spiritual language - I cannot locate a character anywhere.
What I find is this:
I am here as Awareness.
And within me, experiences arise.
Thoughts appear. Feelings move. Emotions swell and soften. Sensations flicker through the body. Memories surface. External conditions are perceived.
But all of these are experiences occurring within the Awareness that I am.
The ego is not real.
It's just a collection of thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations, and inner and outer conditions that were once bought into. Thoughts and feelings - that were noticed, interpreted, and given meaning. And once they were taken seriously and accepted as truth, a story formed around that, and from that story, the experience of an identity.
But that's all the ego is. A sense of self, that can be traced back to one core thought, that one singular thought of separation; I AM not.
It's not a real entity that you have to dissolve, disentangle from, heal, or integrate.
There is only God.
Not a religious God, not some male gender deity up in heaven, but the Source of all Life. And I don't care whether someone calls that God or Source or the Universe or the Goddess or whatever.
But there is only God. There is nothing that is not made of God.
And you are God. Even as your human self.
I'm not here to soften that for you. I'm here to help you see and receive who you really are.
Your human self may feel limited sometimes; because you are, in a sense, like a shorter version of your true nature. Not able to see the whole picture, or understand all of the inner workings. That’s not a shortcoming however (no pun intended, wink wink); it’s by design.
But that doesn’t mean you are the least bit separate from the totality of the Source that you are - any more than your 5 year old self is separate from who you are now.
Same name, same DNA; different consciousness, different access.
When we “manifest” experiences that are not our preference, it’s because we are filtering the one energy of Source that we are, through a pair of flawed glasses, so to speak.
An illusory lens, a false story, a mistaken identity of - I am not who and what I desire to be. I am not connected to everything I want, love, and desire; I am separate from others and from God.
And because the mechanism of manifestation is always reflecting back to us who and what we are genuinely conscious of being and what we are accepting as our truth, we can manifest very real experiences of lack, separation, and limitation.
That doesn’t mean there is an entity or character that has control or needs to be managed or transcended. It means we are telling a story that doesn’t match what Awareness already knows to be true.
Yet when I stop referencing the story that feels in opposition or unwanted, the seeming character vanishes.
What remains is simple presence.
And from this place, one of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself arises -
Am I living in agreement with how Awareness feels about my desires?
The reason why this one question alone can change your life if you live from the answer, is because most people who are trying to manifest their desires don’t realize that they are commanding something to be different, but from the identity of the one who would never have that desire anyway.
They are trying to manifest from “I am Not,” from disagreement with the truth of fulfillment, havingness, beingness. And the world mirror says, As you wish. You are not.
The antidote to this however, is not to try harder to believe or convince that sense of self that it does indeed have something it cannot perceive. That self, remember, isn’t real, and as such doesn’t need to be changed or altered in any way.
The invitation is to first notice, who is aware of that sense of self, with their story of the unwanted, lack, or limitation?
Likely your answer will be, “me,” or '“I am.” Then get curious about, who is this me, this I, that is aware? If you set aside thought, memory, labels like inner or outer, even your own name and human identity (don’t worry, you can have all those back in a moment), what is still here? That presence that you will notice, is you. The real you.
Now notice the qualities of that are present is that sense of, I am aware. You will probably notice it feel spacious, peaceful. Like you can’t find a boundary where it ends, and something else begins. Can you notice that it isn’t grasping anything, nor is it pushing anything away? And it isn’t asking anything to be different in this moment, not even you.
This is what it means to Be Still and Know That I Am God.
I’ve heard many teachers say that Awareness wants nothing, needs nothing, doesn’t actually have desire. But again, I don’t find that to be true at all, when I turn to my direct, lived experience,
Desire Looks Different From Awareness ~
If I gently bring any desire to mind - love, money, creative expression, health, purpose, stability; I can notice directly how Awareness relates to that desire.
And the response is strikingly consistent. It is never strained, it is never fearful.
Awareness is not anxious about desire.
It is not conflicted about desire.
It is not bargaining with desire or negotiating with seeming appearances.
But it isn’t ambivalent either. Desires don’t feel neutral or unimportant when I drop the story of lack or absence; they feel alive. Present. Relational.
It feels like a quiet, luminous yes.
Not a grasping yes.
Not an urgent yes.
Not even an excited yes.
Just a calm yet alive, sparkly, orientation that feels like openness, permission, and inevitability all at once.
Because Awareness recognizes desire as natural movement within itself rather than something separate that must be obtained.
I think the reason so many people say that Awareness doesn’t want or need anything, is because when you drop the story of lack and separation, what is perceived is fulfillment. And then the assumption is made that if there is no reaching, there is no desire.
But the reason Awareness isn’t reaching, is because Awareness has.
Awareness isn’t seeking to receive something, because the moment desire becomes alive, the perception of having it exists simultaneously. The noticing of the desire and the experience of it’s fulfillment are in the same place; they are the same movement because they are made of the very same substance. Like a beautiful dance between the longing that arises and the fulfillment that instantly embraces it.
And this is why when you feel any sort of resistance at the level of the human experience, like thoughts and feelings of doubt, worry, or fear, they aren’t a problem in the slightest. They aren’t in the way, unless you say they are.
This realization has reshaped how I understand those moments of fear, doubt, or activation.
Instead of interpreting those moments as:
“An identity I must heal or shift out of.”
“A part of me sabotaging.”
“My nervous system trying to pull me back.”
I simply recognize:
An experience is arising within me as Awareness. That's all.
In that recognition, space opens. And I have a gentle choice -
Do I want to prioritize the undesired story and unwanted experience arising within me?
In other words, do I want to identify with the content of experience that I am currently aware of?
Or do I want to return my gaze, which is as effortless as shifting my eyes from one space to another in a vast room where every possibility exists, to how Awareness already feels about what I desire?
Because if fear is an experience arising within me rather than an identity that defines me, then I am free to relate to it without constructing a story.
Which is why it's life-changing to return over and over to this gentle but powerful question:
Where would I like to place my gaze?
On the story forming around this experience?
Or on the way Awareness already feels about what I desire?
You always have a choice. You are already choosing one or the other.
Now the invitation is to do it consciously.
Over and over, I find myself choosing the latter. Not as effort. Not as discipline. But as relief.
Alignment begins to feel less like self-improvement and more like self-remembering.
Agreement with what is already true, and an end of the war within.
Because your sweet human self isn’t being asked to do any of the heavy lifting. Any more than your 5 year old self could do anything to assist the taller future self you are now.
Desire As Guidance Rather Than Evidence Of Lack ~
Many teachings frame desire as something that comes from the ego, or as something to transcend or neutralize.
But if Awareness is all that is (which it is, which you are), if consciousness is the ground of experience, the space in which all things arise- then where could desire originate except within consciousness itself?
Pure desire is always from God. It is Source moving and expanding through itself; Life experiencing more Life.
It’s not a mistake, or a sneaky ploy from the ego - it’s God in expression.
The only time desire is perceived as a problem, is when it’s being viewed through those flawed lenses.
From that misidentification of self that believes itself to be separate, and therefore desires become something to earn or achieve in order to fill an illusory void.
But desire in it’s original form, before it gets distorted by mistaken identity, is simply a notification of what is already true and already present. Desire not only equals fulfillment, it also so beautifully contains within it, the means of fulfillment.
And perhaps most importantly, desire reveals what matters to the heart without requiring the mind to justify it.
Seemingly negative experiences are actually a map to what you really want ~
Fear, triggers, and seemingly negative feelings and emotions are often misunderstood as missing the mark or something fix, heal, or overcome. When in truth they act as messengers pointing toward desire. Beneath every fear and trigger I’ve explored, there has always been a desire.
Beneath doubt - the desire to stop believing lies.
Beneath jealousy - the desire to feel chosen and satisfied.
Beneath anxiety - the desire to feel safe.
Beneath anger - the desire to feel protected.
Beneath restriction - the desire for freedom and expansion.
Beneath grief - the desire for connection and belonging; a place for love to land and be received.
And when I stop trying to eliminate fear, pain or doubt and instead listen for the desire underneath it, something softens.
Because desire is inherently life-affirming. It points toward what wants to be received, experienced, expressed, or embodied.
From Awareness, desire is not pressure.
It is invitation.
A Gentle Practice: Returning To The Orientation Of Awareness ~
If you feel curious to explore this in your own experience, here is a simple way to begin.
Not as a technique to perform correctly, but as an experiment in noticing.
1. Pause.
Let whatever is present be present. Thoughts, sensations, emotions - none of them need to change.
2. Notice that you are aware.
Before describing yourself, before referencing history, before interpreting the moment - simply recognize that awareness is here.
3. Bring a desire softly to mind.
It could be something small or something life-changing. Let it be natural.
4. Sense how Awareness relates to this desire.
Not how the mind comments on it. Not the story around it. But the underlying felt orientation.
Many people notice a quality of openness, warmth, possibility, or quiet yes.
5. Rest there briefly.
Nothing to maintain. Nothing to amplify. Just recognizing that this orientation exists.
6. When other experiences arise, include them. Notice that they are in fact, already included, already allowed.
If doubt appears, notice it as an experience within awareness rather than evidence against the desire. Then gently return your gaze.
This is less about holding a state and more about remembering where you can look from.
You Do Not Have To Become Someone Else ~
Perhaps the most liberating aspect of this recognition is the simplicity it introduces.
You do not need to locate and eliminate a character.
You do not need to perfect your nervous system.
You do not need to resolve every thought.
You do not need to shed an old identity and cling to a new one.
You are already the Awareness within which all experiences are unfolding.
And from that place, your natural orientation toward what you desire is already one of quiet acceptance. Things are already unfolding for you in a way that does not require struggle to initiate.
Fulfillment is moving in a way that does not need you to become worthy of it. You are learning how to notice the perspective from which it already feels not only possible, but inevitable.
That noticing, repeated gently across ordinary days, is enough to change everything.
And that's why prioritizing the noticing of how you as Awareness already feels about what you desire, will change everything.
Not conceptually. But directly.
Notice how your true beingness is already in agreement with what your heart desires.
And allow that to be the place you live from and as.
That alignment is closer than the breath in your lungs. That Oneness between you and what you most long for, is already unshakable and ever-present.
Everything else can just be the weather of experiences passing through the sky that you are.
Something wonderful is happening for you now. And you don't have to become anyone else for it to be true.
There's nothing more to achieve achieve, only more of who you already are to recognize.
And you are already home.